Ah, how good it feels – the hand of an old friend

Never has spring felt so good. So promising. So essential. 

While I’m still cautious – internally and behaviorally – I’m also being pulled by the tide of hope that’s affecting everyone. It’s the excitement of seeing nature come back to life. More activity out and about. The promise of eating outdoors, at a restaurant, with people, or traveling beyond town limits – still many weeks away for us personally, but just knowing we could if we really wanted to, is huge.

And the little things in the meantime feel pretty epic. We are seeing friends and family again. Starting to socialize. Leaving the masks off (when outside, with other vaccinated people). My shoulders are a little more relaxed.

 I’m also making more of an effort to check in with friends, and it’s a harsh reminder: everyone has suffered through this pandemic. So many friends have admitted to depression, going to really dark places, struggling to be okay. It’s kind of unfathomable to consider life in, say, 2013 or 2005, never mind 1999. It’s like the world was on cruise control. The shit we’ve battled over the past several years is insane and to think that we aren’t psychically affected is crazy.

We have to continue to be kind to each other. I had it so relatively easy throughout the pandemic and yet I sometimes break down with the pain and emotion of the past year. Just think about all those people who lost jobs, have been food insecure, trapped in a relationship or situation that brought daily stress. All the people who have lost significant people in their lives. 

It’s so hard to just charge forward. To want to shake off this pandemic and get on with things. But there’s a lot to process. Coping behaviors we learned that are hard to just let go of. There is every reason to take things slow, to be generous with ourselves and others, and to lean into the small lessons, linings and pleasures we found along the way.